
Unmaking Mary
Shattering the Myth of Perfect Motherhood
by Chine McDonald
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Pub Date Mar 13 2025 | Archive Date Jul 23 2025
John Murray Press | Hodder & Stoughton
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Description
'Astute, smart, witty and brave. A radical, deeply thoughtful and essential intervention'
Lucy Jones, author of Matrescence
'A deeply valuable reflection on motherhood'
Rowan Williams
For two thousand years, the Virgin Mary has been depicted throughout art, literature and culture as symbolising the perfect mother: chaste, beautiful, meek, mild and white. These supposed virtues and symbols have penetrated not just Christianity but wider popular culture; and contributed to harmful views about motherhood and what it is to be a woman.
In this part-memoir, part social and theological commentary, Chine McDonald deconstructs the myth of perfect motherhood and shines a light on the dark side of parenting. From birth trauma to post-natal depression, from infertility to the mental load, the motherhood penalty and pressures on women to be and have it all - especially in the church - this book attempts to liberate motherhood from the chains in which it has been placed, reconstructing a more authentic, grace-filled way forward for the most important job in the world.
Unmaking Mary will include a foreword written by Beth Allison Barr, author of The Making of Biblical Womanhood.
Advance Praise
“In Unmaking Mary, Chine McDonald draws on an impressive range of sources – from theology to social media posts, and from literature to her own personal experiences – to deeply challenge oppressive archetypes and to recover more liberatory models of motherhood. Sweeping in its intellectual range, light in its touch, and discerning in its distinctions, this is a wise and illuminating book.”
Jennifer Banks, Senior Executive Editor at Yale University Press and author of Natality: Towards a Philosophy of Birth
“I was utterly riveted by Unmaking Mary. Beautifully written, richly layered and meticulously researched, this is a game-changing, much-needed corrective to the restrictive ideal of motherhood presented in the white, patriarchal myth of Mary. Chine McDonald deconstructs the perfect, passive motherhood Mary has long been saddled with, and clears the way for a maternal figure of profound humanity, power and beauty, as well as unspeakable pain. Astute, smart, witty and brave. A radical, deeply thoughtful and essential intervention.”
Lucy Jones, author of Matrescence
“This is a brave and beautiful book. Writing with a generous ecumenism, Chine McDonald offers a rich revisioning of Mary's motherhood, interweaving the theological tradition with a deeply personal and honest account of her own experiences of maternal life in all its complexity, struggle, vulnerability and joy. As a feminist theologian, mother and grandmother, I felt inspired and liberated by reading this.”
Tina Beattie, theologian, writer and broadcaster
“With an honesty as painful as it is rare, Unmaking Mary is a book that will remain with you long after its close. A rigorous examination of motherhood and the ways our icons form us; and a site of truth-telling for those who have, for too long, mirrored postures never meant for us. My only fear is that the foolish among us will mistake it as a book only of interest to women. It is vital reading for all who were once born.”
Cole Arthur Riley, author of This Here Flesh
“There are many names for Mary in the Christianities of the world: Mother of the Word Incarnate, Mother of Sorrows, Mother of God. In her signature searing, incisive analysis, Chine McDonald explores other names: Mother of Rage, Mother of Childloss, Mother of Exhaustion, Mother of Grief, Mother of Joy, Mother of Solidarity, Mother of Racial Justice. This is a book for people of all genders to explore how ideas of religion and maternity influence our understanding of power, validity, truth and belief. At times a journalistic analysis, at times theological, at times narrative, at times historical, Chine McDonald’s Unmaking Mary is – all the time – a powerful demonstration of theology speaking to contemporary society. Did I say it was part journalism, theology, narrative and history? Yes. It is also all fire; burning with conviction, clarity, scholarship and declaration.”
Pádraig Ó Tuama, poet, theologian and conflict mediator
“Sometimes you don't have to make the cake.” If actual flesh and blood mothers need liberating from impossible projections of perfection, so does the most famous mother of all. Dealing honestly and movingly with the complex emotions of motherhood, Chine McDonald offers us not only a deeply valuable reflection on the topic, but also a great deal of wisdom on how to use (and how not to use) myth and metaphor in understanding our humanity. A challenging, hope-filled book.”
Rowan Williams, theologian, poet and 104th Archbishop of Canterbury
“As a cultural historian and a mother, I found this book to be rich, provocative and powerful. It was also deeply comforting and freeing at a personal level. I wish I had read it a long time ago. McDonald’s combination of intellectual argumentation and personal observation is superb and disarming. By the end of the book, the roadblocks of unrealistic maternal ideals long associated with Mary are cleared away to make way for a deep and rich encounter with the actual Mary of the Bible.”
Sarah C. Williams, historian and author of When Courage Calls
“This is a wonderful book. Sharp, funny and theologically rich on both Mary and motherhood – constructive theology at its best.”
Janet Soskice, Research Professor of Catholic Theology, Duke Divinity School and Professor Emeritus of Philosophical Theology, University of Cambridge
“I feel profoundly seen by Chine’s words. Mothering is the most difficult work I’ve ever done, and she not only affirms me in this messy and mostly unseen holy task, but assures me that God is right there in the mess with me. Using historical, theological and contemporary examples to unmake the Mary we think we know, and through the vulnerable sharing of her own experiences, Mary is beautifully remade in the image of us all. This book not only made me feel better about being a mother, it made me feel more fully human. I encourage every imperfect mother to read her words and be comforted and inspired.”
Jayne Manfredi, Anglican deacon, writer and BBC Radio Four contributor
“I have the immense privilege of teaching, researching, writing, and contemplating the life of Mary, so it was not the truths of her life that initially grabbed me in this book. What captured me was McDonald’s honesty. I read as one who had entered a new stage of motherhood, past the fog of the early years and the relative steadiness of the primary school era, to the complicated terrain of adolescence. In that new season, I had not resisted the voice in my head that charged, “failure!” frequently enough. I had begun to believe that damning voice was speaking truth. Unmaking Mary reacquainted me with a familiar friend. It is not that Mary, the Nazareth girl who became the mother of God, had changed, but I had, and needed to meet her anew, not only as the successful gospel proclaimer but also as a mother who on long days and sleepless nights probably also fought the demons of self-doubt. I learned a great deal from this book, but it touched me at many more levels than the intellect. I connected with this book and know that countless readers will do the same.”
Amy Peeler, author of Women and the Gender of God and Professor of New Testament and the Kenneth T. Wessner Chair of Biblical Studies at Wheaton College
“With Unmaking Mary Chine McDonald approaches a sometimes-contentious subject with endless grace. This book is affirming and enlightening; written with enough depth that will keep theological students engaged but with the strength of heart that will reach any mother caught in the tangle of shame, obligation and exhaustion. My soul was stirred with each turn of the page.”
Jendella Benson, writer, editor and creative
“This book is a marvel! In Unmaking Mary, Chine McDonald masterfully serves as both death doula and midwife. On the one hand, McDonald generously and incisively guides us to kill and release all of the ways we have been held hostage by toxic perfectionistic motherhood. On the other hand, McDonald graciously and wisely guides us to birth something new: a form of mothering that truly liberates, heals, and nurtures both ourselves and those we love. Remarkably, by being both death doula and midwife, McDonald shows us that we can truly reclaim and transform everything we think we know about Mary and mothering. Indeed, a part of my mother-related trauma was healed simply by reading this book. And I know that Unmaking Mary is going to save a lot of kids from unnecessary trauma. Read it, savour it, embody it – and be free!”
Christena Cleveland, author of God Is a Black Woman
Available Editions
EDITION | Other Format |
ISBN | 9781399814638 |
PRICE | £18.99 (GBP) |
PAGES | 272 |
Available on NetGalley
Featured Reviews

Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for the e-ARC. This book is a masterpiece manifesto of motherhood and Mary - and how they both enable us to see our loving God afresh in in their stubborn hope and action.

The extensive bibliography at the end of this book shows just how much time, research, and energy was put into what ultimately feels like a very well written thesis paper. An engaging and thought provoking piece, this book led me down a number of rabbit holes and grabbing my Bible to read sections that weren't as familiar to me. Tying in a modern mother's struggle with social medias, the Covid-19 pandemic, and other issues affecting our daily lives to what historical motherhood truly was, and what it is traditionally presented as, allowed a personal connection to what my experience as a mother has been. This is definitely a book that has given me food for thought while affirming my place as a good mother. I read this book through NetGalley.

Review: Unmaking Mary: Shattering the Myth of Perfect Motherhood by Chine McDonald
Overview
Chine McDonald’s Unmaking Mary is a revelatory dismantling of the impossible standards imposed on mothers, weaving memoir, theology, and cultural critique into a compelling manifesto for imperfect parenting. With raw honesty and sharp insight, McDonald challenges the idolization of the Virgin Mary as the archetype of flawless motherhood, exposing how this myth burdens women with unattainable expectations. While rooted in Christian tradition, the book’s message transcends faith boundaries, offering solidarity to any parent weighed down by societal pressure.
Key Strengths
-Intersectional Depth: Blends personal narrative (as a mother of two) with incisive analysis of how race, class, and religion compound maternal guilt.
-Theological Courage: Boldly reinterprets Marian symbolism, arguing that sanctifying Mary’s “perfection” erases the sacredness of real, messy motherhood.
-Emotional Resonance: McDonald’s vulnerability about her own struggles—from postpartum anxiety to societal judgment—creates an instant kinship with readers.
Critical Considerations
-Niche Appeal: Though universally relevant, its frequent Christian framing may limit engagement for secular audiences.
-Pacing: The shifts between memoir and theory occasionally disrupt narrative flow.
-Solution Gaps: While superb at diagnosing cultural problems, some readers may crave more concrete strategies for resistance.
Score Breakdown (0–5 Stars)
-Originality: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5) – A groundbreaking fusion of theology and feminist parenting critique.
-Practicality: ⭐⭐⭐ (3/5) – More reflective than prescriptive, but sparks vital self-reflection.
-Empathy: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (5/5) – Reads like a compassionate conversation with a wise friend.
-Depth: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4/5) – Covers expansive ground, though some threads beg deeper exploration.
Overall: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4.5/5) – A balm for the weary mother’s soul—tearing down stained-glass ideals to rebuild something truer.
Who Should Read This?
-Mothers drowning in guilt or comparison.
-Faith communities reevaluating gendered expectations.
-Anyone studying the intersection of religion, feminism, and parenthood.
Final Thoughts
McDonald’s work is a clarion call to reclaim motherhood as a human, not saintly, experience. Its power lies in unflinching truth-telling and the radical permission to be “good enough.”
Gratitude
Thank you to NetGalley and Chine McDonald for the advance review copy. This review reflects an honest engagement with the book’s mission to liberate mothers from perfectionism.

A haunting and def necessary deep dive into how women are shaped, erased, and rebuilt through a religious, cultural, and even personal lens. In tackling these systems of power, McDonald’s voice is strong and precise while maintaining empathy and centuries of myth and expectation are unraveled. This felt like both an academic unpacking and a personal reckoning, and I found myself highlighting whole passages. If you're drawn to feminist theology, deconstruction, or simply tired of being told to be a "Mary," this one will hit hard. My gender and sexuality studies degree was THRIVING.
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