A Little Book of Self-Care for Those Who Grieve
by Paula Becker
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Pub Date 28 Sep 2021 | Archive Date 10 Sep 2021
Weep. Scream. Hate. Disbelieve. Go numb.
This beautiful book offers a gentle and honest guide for surviving the early days of grief—shock, trauma, disbelief—and beyond. In simple, easy-to-absorb pages composed of short, poetic text and spot illustrations, readers will begin to find the path they need to move through their grief, step by step. From grieving a sudden death or a long illness, someone hard to love or impossible to live without, anyone suffering a loss will see themselves and their grief reflected in these pages.
When author Paula Becker’s son was killed in 2017, she reached for grief books to help her understand how to proceed through the enormous grief engulfing her. Most grief books are tens of thousands of words long—helpful resources, but often too overwhelming for the newly bereaved to navigate with shattered attention spans and broken hearts. With A Little Book of Self-Care for Those Who Grieve, as only someone who knows grief intimately can, Paula Becker offers grievers a touchstone, quiet snippets of care and advice that can be returned to again and again as they travel the lifelong road of grief. A planned foreword from a notable voice in the grief community as well as a resources section rounds out this essential book.
In the vein of It's OK That You're Not OK, A Little Book of Self-Care for Those Who Grieve acknowledges the brokenness, the pain, and how grief alters your reality and with great tenderness and gentle compassion, walks with readers in that new world.
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Average rating from 14 members
This book is perfect. It's truly perfect in every way. It finds the right words to express what you feel, and has the right words to comfort and be able to breathe. Most importantly, it makes you feel ok, and that you are not losing your mind, even in those moments when grief overwhelms you and your pain is more than you can handle.
I have read a lot about grief since my mom died Christmas 2016. More recently, I came home from work on April 8, 2021 to find my partner dead.
This book is the best one I've read, because it actually helps. I'm not crazy for wearing his shirts or mom's necklaces. It's OK to have normal dishtowels and special ones (mom's), which I treat more carefully, and a million other little things that I do or I keep and treasure for the most benign reasons.
This book is important. This book helps. This book should be given to everyone, who has lost someone recently.
This book can give people, who feel they don't want to continue a life without the person they lost, moments to catch a breath, thing to do to process the grief, permission to feel their feelings, something that soothes and calms and the sense that it will become bearable with time.
Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a free review copy, and to Paula Becker for writing this book, which has made a difference in my life. That's priceless beyond what my words can express.
This book was great. Like the title, it’s a book of self care for those who are grieving. Excerpts are short and are easy to read through. This book reminds those to breathe, process, and just take care of you during an extremely difficult time. I did wish the book was a bit longer, but as the author explains, it’s the perfect length for those who are still in the early stages of grief (as well as those who have been grieving for some time). I’m happy that this book exists (and will be published in a few months), because I’ve never seen a book like it for those who are grieving. I wish I had this book when my mom passed away last year.
Thank you so much Net Galley for this arc!
This is a beautiful book with simple advice for grieving folks that reads almost like a poetry book. It's illustrated with gorgeous deep blue watercolors and some other watercolor images. I really loved the blue pages (similar to the cover) and felt that they added greatly to the sparse but helpful words. I am grieving more people than I can list and my husband is still really feeling the loss of both of his parents last fall. The advice here won't magically make the pain go away but it is helpful and loving. Its very short nature is also good for those of us who don't have the time or emotional energy to read a big long treatise on grief and just want some comfort. Well recommended.
I read a temporary digital ARC of this book for review.
This book was absolutely amazing. The book is filled with simple yet useful advice for those who are grieving. The illustrations complemented the advice perfectly. I really wish this book had been published a long time ago. This book is not just for those who recent lost a loved one, it’s also for those who are still continuing to grieve.
This book is a gem for all who've lost a loved one and want to be reassured that the things they do, feel are normal. This book actually helps with processing and to continue living with grief, because let's be honest it never really goes away completely.
It explains how the things that made us think we were crazy, like keeping the most questionable items of loved ones, or wearing their clothes are completely fine.
A lot of grief-proccess books focus on how one should get over grief. This book let's you live through it and helps with how not feel bad about needing a break, a breath or to let loose. It doesn't give the science blahblah or dwelve into the history of life, death and the such. It focuses on the now, you and your feelings.
It was also the perfect length, I often find that self-help books want to have it all. Contain every information and tips possible instead of focusing on the important things.
Out of all the books I've read on the subject, I would recommend this the most.so far.
4 comforting stars
This short book does exactly what its title suggests: gives the reader gentle reminders to breathe, drink water, receive. It would be a nice gift for those grieving at the earliest stages. “Preserve what energy you have. Delegate. Try to tell people what you need…if you don’t know what you need, that’s okay too.” The beautiful watercolor illustrations are calming. The tone is all about accepting the new reality.
The book is non-spiritual, mentioning only, “All religions offer traditions that may comfort and honor. If it helps, use them, and those whose ministry it is to support and guide.” As a Christian, I cherish the biblical assurance of life everlasting, but Becker’s book completely avoids the spiritual realm.
The end of the book lists a few helpful websites, podcasts and books.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for providing an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I was expecting more of a practical angle to this book, specially with how it's presented. Nonetheless, it was a quite warm book, and the illustrations and mood of the book created a very immersive experience. I tend to stay away from self-help books, as a known sceptic, but this one is a beautiful book while simultaneously not intending to sell you a unique truth. Its space for fallibility ("if that's what you need", "if that works for you", "if that feels right for you") made it particularly validating. I sorely miss my grandfather, and while this book didn't make that go away, it did feel a bit like a balm. I still wish it had a bit more of a practical angle, but I can appreciate it for what it is.
Thank you so much Girl Friday Books and Netgalley for allowing me to read this!
This book is definitely worth a read. As somebody who is very well versed in grief, I will say that I thought there were some pieces missing. But everybody's trip through grieving is unique to themselves in some ways. Either way, this book, short though it may be, has advice that is worth knowing, is well written, and gives you permission to grieve however you want and need regardless of what others think. There are two things off the top of my mind that I didn't like, one is that she kept repeating "if it feels right to you"which felt unnecessary to me. I Feel like it would have been better to say that at the beginning of the book in regards to everything that they're about to read. The other thing is, when they speak of relationships and people not understanding your grief, I wish she had told people that it's okay if somebody leaves you. If your relationships don't weather the storm, That it does not make it your fault that somebody else can't handle what you're going through that's something I needed to hear as I lost a lot of friends when I was grieving in the morning what I had lost. And that it wasn't my fault. That I wasn't doing anything wrong, but people will generally do whatever they can to avoid pain, a constant reminder of death. For me that information was more important than anything else.
But overall I thought that this was beautifully done. Especially this:
"All this advice will pale in the stark agony of your grief. None of these words will be enough. What helps is different for everyone, and may change over time. Some days will be less bad. Let them be less bad. On these days, allow yourself to notice what is good, taste what is sweet, recognize relief."
That is something every grieving person needs to know.
This book is perfect for anyone experiencing a loss of any depth or magnitude. The words and illustrations are so soothing, and there aren’t a lot of words on each page, which makes the suggestions easier for grieving minds to process. It’s not full of facts and theories; it’s full of gentle permission to allow one’s grief journey to be what it is.
Thanks to NetGalley, the author and publisher for an advanced reading copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Having lost my mother this past August, I found myself just floating through life. I would go to bed crying myself to sleep, I would wake up in the middle of the night crying and the next morning I would be sobbing. I honestly did not know how I was going to get through losing the most important person on the face of the earth. My mother was always my best friend, but she was always my mother first and I never lost respect for that.
From the outside it appeared as though I was doing great but inside, I was gone. Mentally I checked out. We’re taught so many things as children, teens, young adults and adults but living without the ones who mean so much to us is not really something that can be taught. Sure, in theory we can imagine how we might feel or what we might experience, but until we actually lose someone, we love we will never know what we’ll experience once they are gone.
Even though I prayed continually and sought the Lord consistently, I was spiraling downward at a very rapid pace. He did help me when I cried out to Him but I was still pretty messed up. I could not talk about my feelings with my sisters or brother because they too were experiencing the same grief that I was. So, I sought out a therapist and group grief counseling which was a blessing from God. Being able to talk about my feelings with others who were experiencing some of the same things I was going through helped quite a bit. However, in one of my groups there was a workbook that probably would have helped me had I not been so overwhelmed with grief that I could barely get through the first chapter.
When I saw how much info was in the workbook, I quietly put it aside never to revisit it because it was simply overwhelming. However, I knew that I still needed a book to help me get through this and while I was perusing the fantastic books of NetGalley, I had come across Paula Becker’s book, A Little Book of Self-Care for Those Who Grieve by Paula Becker and it was a gamechanger for me.
I devoured Paula’s book in one day. After having lost her son to a terrible accident, Paula experienced debilitating grief as well. She gave herself the time she needed to grieve and never rushed it. That was key for me because many times other rush us because our grief is difficult for them to deal with, so they want us to hurry up and be over it. However, Paula gave us a gentle and honest guide on how to survive not only the early days of grief but even well into our journey.
I highly recommend A Little Book of Self-Care for Those Who Grieve by Paula Becker to anyone who has experienced the loss of a loved one and they are finding a hard time to move on. It is not easy, but this book will gently guide us into grieving whatever way we need to do to heal and move forward with our lives. Am I completely healed and over losing my mom? Not at all. In fact, I still have many days where I break down and simply cannot deal with anything and I stay in bed all day long AND THAT IS OKAY. There is no one size fits all when it comes to grieving. We all need different things, but I believe this little book can help everyone.
I am giving it 5 stars because it was just what I needed, and it was not overwhelming with tons of text, nor was it the size of a George Martin novel (no slur to George’s novels – I loved Game of Thrones). It was the perfect size with the perfect amount of information to get me to the next level of survival.
I wish I had this in hardcopy rather than my kindle as I'm sure the watercolours are beautiful but it didn't come through. I think this would be a nice gift but you'd have to know your audience - there a lot of spiritual guidance and info on rocks and gems healing you which isnt for every body.
Thank you for the arc.
I received an eARC through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
Often when people are working through their grief, they look for answers and more often than not those answers are overwhelming. This beautiful condensed book gives those who are looking for comfort, a quick and concise way to feel seen.
A great book for anyone working through a loss.
This is a must have for anyone who is fumbling through the early days of loss, especially unexpected loss. How I wish someone had given me this book soon after I suddenly lost my teenage son! The author’s calming, simple text assures the reader that the emotions of early grief are normal. The images and coloring are soothing. I will be purchasing several copies to have on hand for friends and family who lose a loved one.
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