Skip to main content
book cover for Damned if She Does

Damned if She Does

Why Women Quit Church and What It Means for the Future of Religion

with Nan McNamara (Narrator)

Sign In or Register Now to see if this title is available for request.

Buy on Audible Buy on Kobo Buy on Libro.fm
*This page contains affiliate links, so we may earn a small commission when you make a purchase through links on our site at no additional cost to you.

Send NetGalley books directly to your Kindle or Kindle app


1

To read on a Kindle or Kindle app, please add kindle@netgalley.com as an approved email address to receive files in your Amazon account. Click here for step-by-step instructions.

2

Also find your Kindle email address within your Amazon account, and enter it here.

Pub Date Sep 15 2026 | Archive Date Sep 22 2026

RBmedia | Christian Audio


Talking about this book? Use #DamnedifSheDoes #NetGalley. More hashtag tips!


Description

Ordinarily, women are more religious than men. But these are no ordinary times. In America, where Christianity is still the most common religion, women are vacating churches. In the past decade, 16 million women have left the church. Younger women are disaffiliating from religion faster than men. For some women, leaving is like a dramatic divorce; for others, as one woman tells Stankorb, it's more like women and the church "stopped calling each other."

Exploring trends from the 1980s to today, Damned If She Does is an intimate account of women whose stories got missed during the Christian Right's headline-grabbing rise to power. Their exodus is marked by harm, disillusionment, and drift: from pastors' wives and a national Christian TV show host, to girls whose horrific abuse gives another face to the Catholic sex abuse crisis. Some couldn't stand by a church that cast out their queer friends. Others were maligned for who they loved. Churches with strong opinions on sexual purity and abortion stood beside men with histories of assault. With horror, women who loved the church watched the rise of Christian nationalism and saw their faith bastardized.

Finally, they've had enough. Some are atheists. Others are forging new spiritual avenues through astrology or energy work or connection to their ancestors. Some have a Christian faith they no longer entrust to an institution. Attuned to emotional subtlety, women's agency, and religious longing, Stankorb asks what happens when a woman realizes that she's damned both if she stays and if she leaves. This consequential work of narrative nonfiction is a poignant reminder that women deserve better, and a tale of what happens when they don't get it.

Ordinarily, women are more religious than men. But these are no ordinary times. In America, where Christianity is still the most common religion, women are vacating churches. In the past decade, 16...


Advance Praise

"Women are exhausted by the head-spinning conundrum of Christian patriarchy, which demands they hide the realities and crises of their personal lives to uphold a reputation, dictates that they hold ladders for men to climb, and shelters abusers rather than those harmed. Damned If She Does is a book of windows in which women open up about what's really happening on the Christian Right and why they are right to walk away."
—Tia Levings, author of A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy and I Belong to Me: A Survivor's Guide to Recovery and Hope After Religious Trauma

"A trenchant critique of American Christianity that never loses sight of the women it has failed."
—Publishers Weekly

"For a people and a country mired for far too long in institutions that no longer serve us, Stankorb offers hope: voices that deserve to be heard and acknowledged, and maybe, too, even an apologetic for a kind of truer faith."
—Rev. Angela Denker, author of Red State Christians and Disciples of White Jesus

"Women are exhausted by the head-spinning conundrum of Christian patriarchy, which demands they hide the realities and crises of their personal lives to uphold a reputation, dictates that they hold...


Available Editions

EDITION Audiobook, Unabridged
ISBN 9781545930212
PRICE $19.99 (USD)
DURATION 9 Hours, 55 Minutes

Available on NetGalley

NetGalley Shelf App (AUDIO)

Available to Buy

Buy on Audible Buy on Kobo Buy on Libro.fm
*This page contains affiliate links, so we may earn a small commission when you make a purchase through links on our site at no additional cost to you.

BISAC Codes

REL105000 RELIGION / Sexuality & Gender Studies
REL123000 RELIGION / Faith Deconstruction
SOC039000 SOCIAL SCIENCE / Sociology of Religion