'Til Stress Do Us Part

How to Heal the #1 Issue in Our Relationships

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Pub Date Sep 10 2024 | Archive Date Sep 17 2024

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What if the problem isn’t your partner—it’s stress? This relatable and empowering guide offers indispensable tools to stress-proof your relationship.

“Full of clear strategies for overcoming the overwhelm. A must-read!”—Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play

Every week, couples come into Elizabeth Earnshaw’s therapy room claiming their relationship issues are stressing them out. “The reality is just the opposite,” she says. “The unprecedented collective stress we all face today is the cause of many relationship challenges couples are experiencing.” With Til Stress Do Us Part, this trusted expert shares the tools you need to protect yourself and your relationship from distress—and restore harmony, understanding, and love.

Beginning with an overview of many kinds of stress we face—from acute to chronic stress and even positive stress—Earnshaw uses client stories and personal experiences to reveal the visible and invisible strains on ourselves and our relationships. With warmth and humor, she shares research-backed practices to help you detect signs of overwhelm and take proactive measures to protect, refresh, and heal yourselves. You’ll discover journaling prompts, body-based exercises, scripts, boundary-setting guidelines and more for letting go of pressures and restoring intimacy.

Over the course of the book, you’ll learn how to:
• Set effective boundaries
• Self-soothe and self-regulate when life gets rough
• Take responsibility for what makes you happy
• Communicate with compassion rather than resentment
• Identify and cope with what’s in your control… and what’s not
• Reduce conflict and find more connection in your relationship

“When we become partners, we commit to taking on life’s troubles together,” says Earnshaw. Here is an essential resource for helping you return your relationship to what it should be—a refuge from stress in a turbulent and demanding world in which we always have each other’s backs.

What if the problem isn’t your partner—it’s stress? This relatable and empowering guide offers indispensable tools to stress-proof your relationship.

“Full of clear strategies for overcoming the...

Advance Praise

“Full of clear strategies for overcoming the overwhelm. A must-read!” —Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play

“’Til Stress Do Us Part, an insightful book on managing stress within relationships, is a game-changer! It provides practical solutions with a positive approach, making it an invaluable resource for couples navigating life's challenges. It is a must-read for anyone seeking a healthier and happier relationship.” —Nedra Glover Tawwab, MSW, LCSW, New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace and Drama Free

“Vulnerable, practical and insightful,’Til Stress Do Us Part is the essential guide for how to deal with the most pressing issue in our relationships. Liz Earnshaw gives readers an inside look at how stress and the mental load negatively impact our relationships using her own life as an example, along with those of other couples. I couldn't put this book down and I cannot wait to recommend it to all my clients.” —Amanda White, LPC, author of Not Drinking Tonight

“Funny, relatable, and beyond wise! If relationships came with a guide, this book would be it. Not only does Liz unpack the way stress impacts our relationships, she also shares what to do about it.” —Sara Kuburic, author of It’s On Me

“Liz Earnshaw’s latest book, ’Til Stress Do Us Part, is a ground-breaking exploration of the impact of stress on relationships. Liz’s compassion and vulnerability make this book a must-read for all of us who are looking to protect our intimate partnerships from a very real threat. I will be recommending this book to clients and students for many years to come.” —Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, Northwestern University, author of Love Every Day, and host of the podcast Reimagining Love

“Full of clear strategies for overcoming the overwhelm. A must-read!” —Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play

“’Til Stress Do Us Part, an insightful book on managing stress...

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ISBN 9781649632579
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Featured Reviews

In "'Til Stress Do Us Part," Elizabeth Earnshaw offers a vital resource for couples navigating the challenges of stress in their relationships. This well-crafted and insightful book provides practical tools to help partners protect their bond from the pressures of modern life. Earnshaw, with her relatable approach and expertise, shares research-backed strategies and personal anecdotes to illustrate the impact of stress and how to mitigate it. Filled with actionable advice, this guide is a must-read for both therapists and their clients seeking to foster resilience and harmony in their relationships. From setting boundaries to enhancing communication, Earnshaw's book is an essential tool for anyone looking to strengthen their partnership. I highly recommend!

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Thank you to netgalley and the publisher for the ARC!

I took a lot away from this book and it was validating how stress can have an impact on relationship cycles and you feel “stuck”. In marriage you’re still different people with different needs - and it can result in “if only _____, then ______” thinking. However, the author made me really think about how society expects marriage to function while we juggle EVERYTHING on our plates as parents - both working, kids in sports, down time for yourself, time with kids etc. it’s not sustainable and unfortunately we are still pushed this direction in society. Essentially, we are all sick with the illness to “obtain more”. This may seem like an obvious takeaway but the examples throughout the book were extremely relatable - in a relationship or family dynamic. I recommend this if you’re feeling stuck in your relationships and feel you’re taking on too much or don’t know what to do about it.

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Thank you to Netgalley and the author for providing me with an Advanced Reader copy of this book; I thoroughly enjoyed it.

</blockquote>"The hard part about being a good couples therapist is that every now and then have to say something a little bit scathing while using a likable tone. Otherwise you're a liar or an asshole." </blockquote>

I enjoyed this quote. It made me laugh and it also made me connect with and appreciate the author and therapist for her honesty and bluntness, both are qualities in communication that I like.

This book is fantastic because it's so relatable, easy to understand and easy to read. It makes you understand that if you're struggling in your relationship it's probably something other couples have and do struggle with and there are ways to fix them together if you have the correct tools, which are provided here. Many of the provided scenarios were things I was able to relate to and/or see myself in and I enjoyed reading the provided feedback and session notes at the end of how to fix each problem both as a couple and individual.

One of the things that resonated with me was what the author describes as your mental load. It includes remembering, researching, worrying and delegating and I think it's important to focus on because a lot of the times tasks that need done require more work than someone who isn't actively taking on the role may realize.

Another piece of advice that really stood out to me was to identify the four horseman- a tool to handle your own criticisms and defensiveness. This tool helps you realize what is happening, a lot of people, including myself and the author, get critical when they get anxious and another tool called "name it to tame it," which is basically just realizing what's going on and putting that realization into action can keep stress, negativity and an argument from arising, which leads to healing problems and being closer in your relationship overall.

In general, I don't have the most positive view of therapy because in the one and only time I have gone, I did not have a good experience and I do not have money or insurance that will cover for me to try to find a better match for me. But I do enjoy reading books like this one that provide a kind of self-guided therapy if you're willing to put in the work yourself.

This book reminds me of Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist, speaker, author and podcaster , which is a compliment becauseI also enjoy her work. I look forward to reading more from Earnshaw.

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